Jan 9, 2010

Acknowledging the pitfalls of bellydance and the myriad of redeeming qualities outshining them in the wake of 3rd Coast Tribal 2011.

During the 3 hour drive by myself back to Austin from 3rd Coast Tribal in Ft. Worth I proudly and dutifully listened to NPR and This American Life. In the last hour of the rainy ride I secretively switched off my intellectual side and switched on my IPod and played two albums that are the kind of guilty pleasures I only listen to in the privacy of complete solitude: the "it's so bad but it feels so good" type of mainstream music produced only as a formulaic vacuous product designed to capitalize on youth and consumer vulnerabilities. One of the albums is 3oh!3. Such is the shame of my enjoyment: I like it but I have no respect for it (which is clearly the exact way this poppy rock-rap band feels about women). While most of their lyrics are about "dating mad models and knocking back bottles," chicks with nose jobs and models with nose-bleeds attached to the singers mouth, underaged girls trying to be cool but really just getting taken advantage of, etc etc there is one lyric that inspired me to write this blog:

you always hedging on a safe bet
walking a tight rope with a safety net
face it, it doesn't mean shit unless you take a risk

My mentor, Amy Sigil, (and coincidentally the person who suggested this wonderfully distasteful but so-freakin-fun album to me) taught me that "fate favors the risky." In my undergraduate choreography assignments in the dance program at UCLA I was always being evaluated on taking risks...going for it and risking falling on your face and/or failing miserably. Because otherwise it doesn't mean shit, its just another safe reproduction through charted territory.

This weekend at 3rd Coast I was reintroduced to the bellydance festival after about a 6 month hiatus from participating in them (due only to the flurry of moving, marrying, and touring). I went to the festival with reserved excitement and heart palpitations as I anticipated sharing a solo choreography for the first time that felt very risky to me, personally. I left feeling uplifted and empowered, not only by the thrill of following through with that risk but by the performances I saw at the festival and the workshops that I took. Every woman (and man) who took that stage, took the opportunity very seriously without taking themselves too seriously to take their own personal risk.

Whether the risk was dancing improvisationally, dancing with a prop, performing without approval from one's family, dancing in a style that can't be easily categorized, being emotionally present without reservations, or challenging one's skill level, I felt inspired by the dancers who really risked their egos, their ideas of themselves, and their ideas of this dance.

My current quest right now is figuring out why I like some music, some dancing, without necessarily respecting it for the attributes I usually strive to find (integrity, poignancy, innovation, skillfullness, cleverness, humor, timelessness, etc). After Donna Mejia's lecture at 3rd Coast on the focus on hyersexuality in bellydance, I think the answer to my quest has to do with appropriate context. I can listen to the 3oh!3 album when the bass matters more to a room full of dancing women than the stupid lyrics that we are all mature and secure enough to dismiss or even appreciate as ridiculous rhymes to make you giggle. But I could never listen to that album in a car of pre-teen aged girls still trying to find their place in society as individuals and women (nor do I really feel like I want to support the band monetarily). I can appreciate a fantasy performance imitating a harem-like bellydancer in a room full of seasoned knowledgable bellydancers who appreciate this common trope for its kitch and novelty...especially if its skillful! But it's harder to appreciate that same performance when it is for a lay-audience of people who are, as Donna pointed out, projecting their ideas of femininity and oriental fantasy onto the dancer and the dance form.

So, What makes me sometimes appreciate a classic bellydance performance as it is, albeit hypersexual and orientalist, while other times I am dissatisfied with any performance that doesn't push boundaries, take risks, and frame itself appropriately for the context? Some things for me to chew on: In general I think we should be aware of all that is oh-so-status-quo, so that we can freely and intelligently choose to proudly uphold it because we believe in it or challenge it. Either way there is a risk involved. In her lecture at 3rd Coast, Donna Mejia called out for bellydancers to make choices about the way they represent themselves and their work, and to make the audience aware of those choices. (This is what I have always struggled with as a student of choreography in a non-bellydance setting and vice versa). I think it is important to recognize the role of our ego when we choose to challenge or uphold the status quo: that we challenge ourselves to make choices because it serves our artistic expression rather than just because we think it makes us look good. Challenge the classical idea of "bellydance" not just because it makes us stand out and be recognized, but because we really think the scope of this dance can be expanded. And when we choose to perform as the fantastical, sword bearing, partially veiled bellydancer, let it not be because we think it is risky and brave to show a lot of skin or because it feels easy. I think it is difficult but necessary to navigate the ways we can inhabit a multiplicity of different roles and ideas about woman while still using bellydance technique. But then there are moments when the harem bellydancer thing just works. I don't think it works in the picture to the left because there is no frame no self-reflexivity. It doesn't say "I know this is a fantasy, but I am choosing to use it as a tool," it kind of says, "look at my body and project your ideas of who I am onto me as a blank canvas. I haven't isolated why sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't nor am I good at "working" it yet, just like I still don't know why sometimes I like to listen to music that belongs to a genre that I don't like under any other circumstances. It has something to do with awareness, frame, context, and intelligent choices.

The reason why I'm thinking of all this now is because of that feeling of inspiration and empowerment I felt on my ride home today. Leaving 3rd Coast, I really feel that I am a proud member of an intelligent community, evolving as artists together and supporting each other as women taking each her own personal risks to be a part of it. My relationship with bellydance has been under the microscope and challenged over and over again the last 4 years in an academic setting and this weekend I felt rekindled with the palpable love that I have for this dance and this community. I defy people to think we are all orientalists naively hypersexualizing ourselves, because I know it not to be true! But I also challenge our community to openly acknowledge that we tread that line every time we take the stage. This is the risk I am navigating in my studies of and participation in bellydance.

...oh, and if you are curious, the other guilty pleasure album was Silver Sun Pickups. Ok now I've come clean. But I am AWARE that these albums enforce a certain status quo and I choose to listen to a lot of things that challenge that status quo as well! Haha!

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